Lets start at the very beginning…

What is love? Does it really exist? Does my Prince Charming really exist or should I just settle for the good guy that is never going to cheat, beat or let me down? Is it ever OK to admit that it is too late for love and resign yourself to living as the cat lady from age 35? Have internet dating sites and apps like Tinder ruined the old fashioned idea of what true love is? Is there any circumstances where arranged marriage is OK or is just for those savages from archaic patriarchal cultures? Can men really be monogamous? These are some of the big questions that I had been discussing with people around me whilst toying with the idea of starting a relationship/dating blog. Like I said, I toyed with the idea but I never actually god around to taking the necessary steps to start this ‘award-winning’ blog till my own life turned into a soap opera at the end of 2014. You’ll hear a lot more about MR BIG BLUE as time goes on but for now let me tell you the bare bones. He is after all the reason that this blog got off the ground 🙂

carrie bradshaw
Who better to turn to when you are lost for words?

I met MR BIG BLUE when I was innocent little 23 year old walking down the street in 2009. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but it was certainly something sparkly. It was a whirlwind romance at first. We spent every waking and sleeping moment together, we explored his beautiful country, he took me home to meet his folks, we had adventures, we got drunk, we partied hard and we cuddled a lot. Then the universe told me it was time to go home and that broke both or our hearts, but I bought him a feathered friend to keep him company while I was away and we promised each other that we’d do the long distance thing better than anyone else. And we did although it wasn’t easy. MR BIG BLUE took his first ever overseas trip and came to meet the parents. They loved him. I packed my bags a few months later and moved to the other side of the world for my happily ever after.

Bubble burst
Love Bubble Just Got Burst !

Sorry to burst you bubble little girls, it didn’t quite work out like that. We had problems. We fought. We made up. We drifted apart. We made different groups of friends. I felt I was losing him so I told him to go. He cheated but I didn’t know it at the time. We moved apart. But we still loved each other so we kept in touch. We started spending more time together. I found out that he cheated. I fought with the Other Women. I won. MR BIG BLUE and I carried on. I forgave him but I didn’t let him forget. We started to get over things. We found some middle ground. We realised that neither of us were perfect but we were perfect for each other. The Other Women came back. That made things tense but it didn’t break us up. We were stronger and more realistic than we’d ever been. Sounds like we were on the right track? Well, that is what I thought …

I’ll leave you in suspense for now. But feel free to hate on him, judge me, offer advice and comment to your hearts desire. Till we meet again for part my cherubs look after yourselves and be sure to LOVE one another.

LOVE from Cinders x o x o

Baby Cinderella
The little girl that never stopped believing in LOVE
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27 thoughts on “Lets start at the very beginning…

  1. I hope to God you dumped his ass. Cheating, under any circumstances, is a red line with me personally. As much as I love someone, I can burn that bridge with napalm if need be.

    If not, you deserve better. Any woman to come into the middle, whether she knew or not, should no longer be in the picture if she makes you feel truly uncomfortable. Let alone the reason you have for it now.

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    • Sadly, I didn’t/haven’t fully ended it myself but it seems the universe is conspiring that way. I always thought that cheating was a deal breaker for me as well but when I was in the situation myself it wasn’t so clear cut.

      I do deserve better, but so did he. I wasn’t an angel in our relationship.

      Please keep following…you’ll get a clearer picture of the situation then. But like I said, I want the blogosphere to hate on him…makes me feel better 🙂

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      • I don’t believe in the “once a cheater, always a cheater” crap, but I do believe it’s a damn go signal to disappear and self reflect on your self worth. Only then you will find reasoning on ending it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah. I am at the stage of figuring out my next moves. I don’t want to spoil the next post but basically he is leaving the city for a bit and even though I don’t want him to. I think the couple of months apart will give us both time to reflect and see if this is what we really want. It will also give me a chance to be independent and discover myself on my own terms. Lets see how the situation pans out.

        Liked by 1 person

    • We definitely weren’t ready to let go of one another. Our connection went beyond just our relationship. We really were/are best friends. I basically summed up five years in one blog post…wait for part 2 – it will give you a little more insight into the whole story.

      Thank you for being one of my first readers 🙂 I hope you keep following 🙂

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  2. I don’t know the whole story and I am sure there is more to this but… it sounds like he has moved on and you haven’t. If you keep digging you risk being accussed of stalking. His heart is elsewhere. As the song goes know when to hold em now when to fold em know when to walk away…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keep reading my posts. You’ll see there is more too it. But I also get where you are coming from. Its just so weird that one minute we are fixing things then suddenly he is ready to move on with someone/something new. That baffles me. In my head, I can’t believe everything in our relationship was a lie. I am just trying to understand and I am worried about him, as are his family. So even if it looks like stalking, I need to keep in contact. He is leaving the country on Monday and everyone is left asking why. I’m sure everything will become clearer with time. I will always be thankful he came into my life and that’s why I will stick around till I know that he is OK. Just a really complicated tough situation.

      Thankyou for reading my post. Keep following the story. 🙂 I appreciate all your comments.

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      • I read the other post. After reading it I came to one conclusion he doesn’t want to be confined and defined by one relationship. He wont tell you that. Because he doesn’t want to be totally in touch with his own feelings and doesn’t want to hurt yours. But he is a lot like my ex who wanted to be free, I wanted to be in a committed relationship so there was the clash, ultimately it was one factor that ended our relationship. Also you asked at the begin if your prince charming is out there and does love exist. The answer is yes to both. Right now you won’t get your prince charming because you still pine for Big Blue but Prince Charming is out there waiting for you. If I can find true love with my one and only so can you .

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      • You make a valid point. But its not easy. I am being forced to move on by the circumstances but my heart still misses him. Its not that I can’t live without him. But its the simple things I miss. Just the friendship and the fact that I could sit in silence with him. We could joke about things no one else would understand and he is still the person I message when something funny/sad/crazy happens. He is family to me. Even though, I should be angry I am not really. I just want to know that he is OK.

        I am glad you believe that Prince Charming really is out there. I won’t give up hope. I will try to live my life the best I can without MR BIG BLUE and lets see how the universe conspires…

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      • Right now you need to make room for Prince Charming , you still pine for Mr. Big Blue …emotionally and it won’t get easier until you do get mad at the time you waste wishing on him. He isn’t someone that is worth your heart. He someone that wafflers back and forth is more draining on you emotionally. He in his one way made it clear to you that he isn’t worthy of you and want to go from flower to flower in search of being in love with himself. Trust that your heart will get over him. I dealt with the same thing when I broke up with my ex. I thought I wouldn’t get over her and I am in my 50’s. It’s never too late for true love and you need to stop any and all contact with Mr. Big Blue it is holding you back from moving forward. Trust the universe…it is ready to send you Prince Charming …all you need to do is make room emotionally for him and before you know it Mr. Big Blue will be in your rearview mirror.

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  3. I don’t plan to sit here wishing him back to me. But what I do hope is that when he does return home he sees that I’ve changed for the better. I want to show him, and the rest of the world, that I can survive alone and that I can be independent (just like the divorcee – you will find out more later). I won’t actively search for Prince Charming (because I want to be more sensible than MR BIG BLUE and not jump into anything new just yet) but I do plan on working on myself and doing the things I love and that make me happy. Thanks for your encouragement, positivity and taking the time to read my blog 🙂

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    • I know what you are saying and I have discussed this with friends many times. If it was any of my friends and a guy cheated on them and hurt them I would unequivocally tell them to walk away and that he wasn’t worth it. However, its a bit more difficult when the shoe is on the other foot. With MR BIG BLUE I really do love him on so many different levels. He has been through a lot of tough things in his life and he hasn’t always felt loved. He has always felt people gave up on him when times got tough. But that is not me. I want him to understand that I will be there for him no matter whats happened and any mistakes the two of us have made. Plus he was always there for me when I went through a tough time so I won’t just give up on him now. Maybe I am a foolish because I can’t take my own advice. Thanks again.

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      • I am not saying not to be there for him but don’t put all of your hopes and dreams on just him alone while he is out there trying to find himself is all. Back away a look at it from a fresh perpective , you are not giving up on him but he hasn’t said he is coming back for you has he?

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      • Nope he hasn’t said that at all. My life is moving forward whether I like it or not. Its just that my heart is still somehow connected to him 😦

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      • I really do. That is why I refuse to let this or any other horrible episode break me and make me bitter. I’ve seen bad experiences make people totally bitter and I won’t let that happen to me. I will always believe in true love and trust there is someone out there for me. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I starting reading before it completely downloaded I just thought this is Carrie Bradshaw in real life and mind you I loved SATC and I am sure that I will love your blog.

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    • You really are too sweet. Be compared to Carrie is the ultimate honour for me. I am a huge fan of SATC too 🙂 Thank you so much. I do hope you keep reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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