I have an inquisitive mind. It must be the journalist in me. I will do whatever is necessary to find out the truth. And with social media at our finger tips these days, nothing is secret anymore. I used my detective skills with the Other Women and I won (I will save that story for another blog post). I am also a marathon runner. This means I never give up – even when my internal organs are packing up and my body is hurting from the inside out I know how to keep running. Mind over matter and it’s the same in real life too. These two things I believe are a lethal combination especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
With the MR BIG BLUE situation, I knew there was more to it. After over 5 years together you know a person pretty well and I am pretty sure I know MR BIG BLUE better than most. He is not easy (but nor am I). He is stubborn. He has some quite fanatical beliefs which can be suffocating. (Again, a story for another day) He is strong physically but weak inside. He acts like a big man but really he is just a little boy wanting to be loved. He loves adventures but gets anxiety when he travels. He is a homebody and he likes to feel safe in his surroundings. He is a lost soul and really just looking for his place in this world. He doesn’t intentionally want to hurt people but sometimes he gets caught in bad things. He is too kind hearted to people that take advantage. He is generous and always supported me (for that I will always be truly thankful). He is most often the person who backs down and says they are sorry. He is totally and utterly loveable. When times get tough he tells you that things are going to be OK. He gives you the BEST cuddles and he never lets go first. The fact is he is my best friend and I know more about him than I could ever fit into a blog post.
I didn’t see him for about month. I kept out of his way as he asked. We still messaged each other every day but I noticed strange patterns. He only ever talked to me in the mornings now and never in the evenings. He indicated that he was having a tough time and he was having to make hard decisions. I suspected he was with her. As I said before, I was pretty sure it wasn’t the Other Women as he’d publically declared his hatred for her.
So who was this new person? Let’s call her the Divorcee. It was just a hunch but gut instinct hadn’t let me down in the past. With the Other Women I fought tooth and nail and I threw low blows. But this time things felt different and I had changed as a person. I felt that if I ran in there guns blazing, making accusations and hurling insults, I would lose him all together. So I knew I needed to keep calm and tackle this lady rather than a savage.
I know it’s a bit of an anti-climax but let me LOVE you and leave you there dear reader. But do tell me what you think. How far would you go to get the truth? Would you want to know the truth in this situation even though it might hurt more?
Till we meet again my dolls,
LOVE Cinders x o x o