Anonymity and The Big G

Before I go any further with this story let me back track a little. I am trying to keep this blog as anonymous as possible because I want to protect myself and those around me. I don’t want any of my friends or family to stumble upon it and get hurt because I’ve written about them. I want to also be free to write what I feel without censoring myself for fear of being found out. This is why I use names that are clearly fake and I’ll avoid giving you too much information about my location. However, there are certain notable things I need to disclose to my readers if they are going to be able to truly understand my story.

One of them is about MR BIG BLUE. It involves The Big G or God, as he is known to most people. MR BIG BLUE is very religious and not just in the conventional way of going to Church at Christmas to please your Mum. He is very involved and it is basically his life. MR BIG BLUE is a Hare Krishna (Yup, one of those happy clappy shaven-headed guys with a strange pony tail that you see singing and dancing on the streets).

Little Krishna
Regardless of ones views on religion – you have to admit he is super cute. Right?

Religion was one of the things that tore us apart in the first place. When I met MR BIG BLUE he was a normal kind of guy who partied hard, got drunk, smoked (I put an end to that habit), watched rugby, went out to restaurants, watched movies, liked to spend money on fashion and material things and then that all changed. He has always been into spiritual things before and we had discussed his beliefs so it wasn’t a huge surprise to me and I was open-minded anyway. But what did bug me was his fanaticism.

At first I found the things he talked about quite fascinating. I attended a few festivals which were a bit overwhelming for someone like me who wasn’t brought up with religion. But I was willing to give it all a chance. But then he started to get too much. He changed his diet and wanted me to as well. I was already pretty much vegetarian so it wasn’t a major sacrifice. But then he didn’t want me to drink which made it difficult for me to go out with my friends. He started to spend more and more time at the temple and away from me. This made start to despise the religion. He stopped going to work because he would rather be at the temple. He said he wasn’t interested in material wealth anymore.

Eventually he got fired from his job. This gave him even more of an excuse to spend time at the temple with the devotees. This is where he met the Other Women. I didn’t know it at the time like I said. I felt the Hare Krishna’s were taking my best friend away so I stopped going to their temple with him. I stayed at home instead, focused on my job and spent time with my ‘normal’ friends. When we did spend time together he would just badger me. So I’d get angry and point out all the hypocrisy in religion (not just his).

It all ended up getting too much. We started to fight really badly. So I told him we needed to be apart. He moved into the Hare Krishna temple and began reconnecting with his faith.

We’ll chat about my attitude towards religion and how it’s changed in future posts, of that I am sure. But for now I will bring this post to a close by throwing the floor open to you my dear readers. Have you ever dated a religious person? Did you have to change your lifestyle because of it? What would you have done it my position? Also, what are you views on me keeping this blog anonymous ? Am I doing a good job so far or do you think I’ll eventually slip up and give myself away? … Let me know what your thoughts are on these issues. I look forward to some good debates. 🙂

For now my pumpkin pies.

Lots of LOVE

Cinders x o x o


22 thoughts on “Anonymity and The Big G

  1. Great writing! Keep writing…

    I believe whether it is about holding on or letting go the relationship, or about keeping it anonymous or not, or about writing with a certain style, it all boils down to your sense of comfort with doing that. If you were comfortable changing your eating habits, that is great but if it felt like a forceful demand would it help you last long?

    Yes, relationships involve a lot of give and takes but if the strength of the relationship is based on FULFILLING A DEMAN by force, it is a boat with holes. What’s your internal feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with you wholeheartedly. Nothing can be forced. He really truly believed in his faith. So I was willing to give it go. I just needed to take my time. Open my eyes in my own way and at my own speed. His fanatacism turned to hypocrisy as it does with so many religious people…that was a big part of the problem when you force something thats not natural.

      Thankyou for reading and commenting. I do hope you will follow and keep up with my story 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely keep writing. It can help to refine ideas and create space in thinking – that is – gives a break from being caught up in emotion. It also helps to see different perspectives when wondering what a reader would think of your writing AND when you receive feedback.

    As I mentioned in my blog, relationships are opportunities for growth – both you and him. If you’re counting on each other to make each other happy that’s kind of ‘needy’, but if you can respect each others differences and allow each other to ‘be’ then that’s kind of cool.

    I would remain anonymous. I like pseudonyms, and you can have a bit more creative leeway.

    I’m keen to read more…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow ok Yes I dated someone with different religious view than I and it was challenging at times, but I learned a lot about her views and while there were times I didn’t agree there were times where I fully understood what she believed. I respected her views just like I wanted her to respect mine. We didn’t argue about religion.,it wasn’t what broke us up but it was something that would have been a up hill battle for me the longer the relationship continued. As for what we think about you staying anonymous, you won’t tell we won’t know lol. Whatever works for you. You know best if it is in your best interest to remain anonymous and it sounds like it is. One last point…our faith is for some who we really are at the core, more than religion, you argued religion, it was his faith you had a bigger issue with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmmm….I don’t get what you mean when you say :’it was his faith you had a bigger issue with’

      I don’t I had an issue with his faith/religion. I was really open-minded and I was willing to give it a chance. But I still wanted to have my own life and my own friends. I didn’t want to only be allowed to be friends with devotees. I didn’t want to have to dress a certain way. I was willing to compromise and make room for spirituality on my own terms. Do you think that is fair? I think this is the case in all relationships…a bit of give and take. Right?

      Thanks for your comment.

      Cinders x o x o


      • Faith is different from religion, you can belong to a religion and not have faith. His faith was leading him to somewhere he has never been and that is what I mean when I said the comments before


      • Alright. I get you. I understand that Krishna Consciousness is something that he is incredibly serious about. I was also trying my best to understand it and we were starting to find some middle ground. Then all this drama into a bit of a tail spin.


      • I grew up a Christian and dated someone who was buddish and nothing could be more of a clash than those two but for two years we were together we tried to understand each other’s beliefs. So I think it is good you tried to understand his beliefs …its sounds like he got more serious and focused without realizing what he left behind (You)


      • Yup you make a good point. Its hard to understand right now but there really is more to this story. I’ve tried not to overload the blog. But I promise you’ll see things aren’t so clear cut.

        Regardless, I get what you are saying and I do appreciate it. I know you have my best interests at heart but with things like this its not always so straightforward.

        Thanks for caring.

        Cinders x o x o


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