MR BIG BLUE is leaving today. He is off to India on his voyage of self-discovery. I’ve timed it so that by the time you guys read this MR BIG BLUE’S should have taken off. I wish I could be at the airport to see him off but he said no and I respected his wishes.
The final goodbye was relatively quick and painless. I gave him a care package with a few things to keep him going on his travels. He hasn’t travelled much before and he gets anxious so I just wanted to do something to show him I cared and that I was proud of him for taking this step.
Because of all the recent drama he has managed to push aside lots of the people that truly know him and care about him like his family and good friends. He has isolated himself and becomes very defensive when anyone asks him what is going on. I wanted to remind him that these are the people that care about him regardless and that their love is unconditional.
I want the little gifts and photos to make him smile if he ever feels down when he is away. The thought of him being sad, scared and alone in India upsets me and I just want him to know that I care. I also wanted him to remind him that there is a lot here for him to come back to when he is ready.
I gave him the gifts. He gave me his car (not really a fair swap right?!). I am just looking after it for him while he is away. My new friend, Mystic Ninja, (I will tell you how she miraculously arrived in my life in a future post) says that him giving me his car is a sign. She said that it shows he cares and wants me to be looked after and maybe that this is him telling me to wait. I don’t know whether this is true. But to me it does mean something.
Last year when I had to move house MR BIG BLUE was my rock. In fact every time we moved from place to place he was amazing. He always made the process easier and took charge of the situation. Moving house really is one of the most stressful experiences for me and again it is something that will be happening next month. This time I will have to do the move alone without MR BIG BLUE here to hold my hand…so it’s time for Cinders to grow up. But the fact that he gave me his car is kind of like him saying: ‘Cinders, I am still here for you making the move that little bit easier’. But maybe that’s just me being hopelessly romantic as per usual.
Anyway that was the pretty un-epic goodbye. He will be at the airport now. Part of me still wishes I had the guts to just turn up there…but then again this isn’t a Hollywood movie. It would most likely end in disaster. What’s done is done now, I guess. He is probably already through passport control now. Now it’s officially the start of our time apart.
What are your thoughts on our goodbye? Do you think me giving him a gift was too much? What do you think about him loaning me his car? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Am I silly to read into it? Do you think I should have pitched up at the airport? Or was I right to stay away?
Please please please keep reading and commenting. I really do appreciate your advice 🙂
Till we meet again.
Lots of LOVE Cinders x o x o