Counting My Blessings – Part 2 : New Friendships

After yesterday’s post I received a bit of well-deserved battering/reality-check from some of my readers (so thank you – bklynboy59jackijons and DrSwag ). So today this princess is going to get in touch with the more positive side of her bi-polar personality in the second part of the Counting My Blessings series.

In the first one of these posts I talked about how I was thankful for my family and friends who picked me up when things started to crumble between myself and MR BIG BLUE.  Today, I want to talk about some special new friends that came into my life at a time when I wasn’t the easiest person to be friends with.

It seems pretty strange to me that even through some of the roughest times in your life you can bring great things and all. Every cloud…hey? It’s odd but sometimes it’s easier to tell semi-strangers about your problems than it is to talk to family and friends who have known you forever (kind of like on this blog).

The Mystic Ninja

Where do I start with this girl? Well I briefly mention her in a previous post but I think I could probably write a whole novel about her she is so interesting. I met Mystic Ninja for the first time a few weeks before things started to go wrong with MR BIG BLUE. She left me sleep over in a room she had transformed into a place fit for a princess…and I had one of the best night’s sleep ever. We talked briefly but that was about it. When I went home I added her as a Facebook friend and I expected things to stop there as they usually do.

Anyway through the worst time when I felt all alone, Mystic Ninja would contact me and ask me if everything was OK. I found it easy to talk to her and after a month of keeping everything to myself, I broke down and I told her about everything that was bugging me. She encouraged me not to give up on MR BIG BLUE.

Right now, she is the girl I go to when I need a hug. The one that will always be on my side. She makes me feel comfortable in a place full of strangers. It is like we are partners in crime (she promised me she’d claw the Divorcee to death for me – hence the Ninja part of her name). She has wiped away my tears. We’ve laughed together into the early hours of the morning. She really is like a guardian angel that mystically (the Mystic part of her name) came into my life at the very moment I hit rock bottom.

We started off as Facebook Friends :)
We started off as Facebook Friends 🙂

The Oracle

The Oracle is someone who I had spent time respecting from a far for a long time. He is highly learned about spiritual things and he’d was someone who had always greeted me with a smile when I visited the Hare Krishna Temple.

On a number of occasions the Oracle had taken the time to talk to MR BIG BLUE and I about our relationship. One time he even told me that MR BIG BLUE loved me and coming from someone as wise as the Oracle, it really meant a lot.

The first time I came back to the temple after a month in hibernation, the Oracle came and sat down next to me. He told me another reason why MR BIG BLUE had forced himself to distance himself from me. He told me that in order to get initiation under the Hare Krishna system (i.e. get a new name and take certain vows) MR BIG BLUE had felt the need to lie about all his relations with women over the past few years. I didn’t know this but the Other Women had spoken to the Oracle about her ‘relationship’ with MR BIG BLUE and had presented him with evidence of conversations they had had on WhatsApp (I will fill you in on her agenda in a future post). The Oracle said he had questioned MR BIG BLUE about his relations with the Other Women. The Oracle had used the WhatsApp conversations as evidence but MR BIG BLUE had claimed the text files had been manipulated. Then the Oracle said he had no other option but to have MR BIG BLUE swear on their holy scripture which he did confirming that in the past two years he had not had any relations with a women. Obviously, the Oracle knew that this wasn’t completely true and he had seen MR BIG BLUE and I together on many occasions. But MR BIG BLUE responded by saying we were nothing more than friends.

That is LITERALLY what the Oracle did for me 🙂

Golly, after this conversation shattered my world a bit. I don’t pretend how to understand the Hare Krishna system but this was beyond messed up. I don’t know why MR BIG BLUE needed to be questioned in the first place about his private life. I do however know how much he wanted initiation. Just felt sad he had to lie about it all.

I am still busy processing the information the Oracle gave me. But he really has been an amazingly good friend to me. He came to me when I felt I had nobody. He has been my sounding board and I’ve appreciated having someone senior to talk too. He told me that he had always supported the relationship between MR BIG BLUE and I. The Oracle has been like a father figure to me when my own folks were too far away. He takes the time to message me and check that I am OK. It really does mean the world to me right now to have his support.


So that’s Cinders over and out for today my Cherubs…and now its your turn to get busy in the comments below.

What do you think of my new buddies Mystic Ninja and the Oracle? How about the new revelations about MR BIG BLUE? What are your views about the Hare Krishna system? Do you find it easier to share painful personal information with strangers than those close to you? Have you had any similar experiences of making new friends during tough times.

Please do share your stories. Until the next update my darlings.

Love Cinders x o x o

37 thoughts on “Counting My Blessings – Part 2 : New Friendships

  1. Ok…when do I begin? Mr Big Blue made it clear what he thought about your relationship with him… As for the new people in your life…these are sources of information that are giving you insight on how their belief system is. AS to why they questioned Mr Big Blue …sounds like there have been rumblings that he hasn’t been on the level and the fact that he lied to them is another red flag for you to pay attention to.


    • Hey bklynboy59…There are so many red flags I still need to tell you about.

      I wish I could explain that there is something is side me that knows that there is something not right, right now.

      Even the Oracle told me that clearly MR BIG BLUE saw an opportunity to get initiated and took it. In MR BIG BLUE’S mind that meant giving me up. But according to the Oracle thats not their culture. It was something self imposed.

      MR BIG BLUE doesn’t feel he fits into this everyday world. He feels rejected like an outcast. The Hare Krishna world is where he feels comfortable. But the fact that he’d go to great lengths to impress these people is something that really irritated me.

      Its beyond messy. Sometimes when I hear these rumours I just wish I could just erase the last 5 years of my life.


  2. You need to stop taking his issues as your own. You can’t fix him. He needs to do that for himself, if he wishes. It is a tough battle when your mind knows something, but your heart hasn’t accepted it yet. You need to use your strength for yourself and not for him. You really need to see this. I am glad you have friends you can lean on. Think about letting your family in too. I am sure they would want to know about your struggles and want to help. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Jackie 🙂 I am trying to find ways to move on. Or at least keep myself busy.

      I hope he will fix himself while its India. Regardless of who gets the guy in the end. I just want the guy to be OK.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Rightly said. This reminds me of a quote – “You should not have to rip yourself into pieces to keep others whole.” I, too, find it difficult to implement and end up giving innumerable chances to the one I should clearly walk away from. I guess the heart wants what it wants. 🙂
      Cinders, I know it’s hard to not care about Mr. Big Blue. I hope you find a guy who loves you more than anything in the world and I hope you see it!! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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