Predator?

In my last post I briefly touched on my conversation with the Other Women. I listened carefully to what she had to say and at first I started to believe most of it. This was mostly because I was upset. MR BIG BLUE had basically gone into hiding and his attitudes towards me started to change for no reason. It was all very weird and I needed answers. However, after a few days I received a very short email from Marigold basically telling me not to get to close to the Other Women as there was always a lot of conspiracy surrounding her.

This got me thinking about some of the more crazy things she had said. Firstly, there was the whole marriage thing. Seriously?! What planet was she on?! MR BIG BLUE introduced me to his parents within a month of us going out (to be fair I was only in the country for 7 weeks, so it was pretty much now or never when it came to meeting the family). And I wasn’t the only one, the girlfriend before me had also met his family. However, this wasn’t the case with the Other Women. It also doesn’t seem to be the case with the Divorcee. MR BIG BLUE also met my folks before I moved across the world to be with him. But again, no such thing with the Other Women. It just seems a little odd to me that he’d make such crazy plans to elope to India and get married to someone none of his family or friends knew of? I am pretty close to his Mum and I asked her straight out if she’d heard anything about the Other Women and she said no, as far as she was concerned she is one of the few people I can trust wholeheartedly. So this whole marriage story has a few holes in it as far as I am concerned. What do you guys think? Could he have manipulated her into believing he was going to go to India and marry her? Or do you think it’s more like this crazy concocted this story?

elopement India wedding
Eloping for Marriage in India? Really?

Now here is the more scandalous part of her story. So I already mentioned that she’d been ostracized by the Hare Krishna community because apparently MR BIG BLUE had made her out to be a home wrecker, as had some other guy before him, let’s call him Drumbledread.  According to her she was not a home wrecker but an innocent girl who was going through a hard time. MR BIG BLUE had played the Knight in Shining Armour and made her feel safe, loved and cherished and she had blind to his evil ways. Later, when he realised that she had nothing to offer him (apparently she was spending a lot of money paying for his lawyers representing him an unfair dismissal case) he came running to Ol’ Faithful aka Cinders :-P. The Other Women said she was now putting together a case to prove her innocence with the help of the Oracle. She said she had the testimonies of 2 more girls that MR BIG BLUE had harassed in a similar manner but she wouldn’t give me names or any other details because apparently these other ladies were very scared of MR BIG BLUE and what he could potentially do to them.

When I processed this information it made me crazy angry, sad and heartbroken.

Sexual-Predator
MR BIG BLUE …. A dangerous PREDATOR?

Could I have really been in a relationship with someone for over 5 years and not known there was a whole other side to their personality? Was MR BIG BLUE really some kind of PREDATOR taking advantage of vulnerable women? Was he leading a double life? Could the Other Women have potentially made up these two supposed victims? Maybe roped in a couple of her friends to help her out? On the other hand maybe all of these girls are ashamed of themselves and feel the need to hide away … after all most religions are very patriarchal, right? Why didn’t the Hare Krishna movement do anything to protect the Other Women and the rest? If MR BIG BLUE is so dangerous why aren’t the Hare Krishnas doing anything to protect the Divorcee (someone who is well-liked in their community)? And if he is the bad guy, why were the Hare Krishna community so quick to ostracize the Other Women whilst letting him roam free?

Questions, questions and more damn questions. Now over to you for your thoughts on this whole messy affair.

Till the next time we meet for an episode of sordid MR BIG BLUE antics.

Lots and Lots of LOVE to my puppy dogs.

Cinders x o x o

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22 thoughts on “Predator?

  1. Sexual predator is a pretty strong term, but, at the very least, Mr. Big Blue certainly seems to use people.

    Even after I thought about him “giving” you his car I felt this. Letting you use his car while he’s gone isn’t a gift, it’s a burden. He gave it to you so he wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with it.

    Yes, you need to take time to process what happened and figure out how you allowed yourself to be in a relationship with Mr. BB, but letting your mind spin around how you can get him back is wasted effort. This is not a man you should want.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hehe! OK maybe sexual predator is a bit harsh but it really was what came to mind when people around me started speculating.

      So the car…. He could have potentially left it sitting at the Divorcees house (although the battery would have died) or lent it to a friend. I dunno. I must say it is pretty useful to have wheels (yup, except when I leave the lights on). So I am inclined to work both ways…but I would say that because I am biased.

      So what MR BIG BLUE cheated I know that. But does that really mean I should believe he threatened people and scared them away from the city?! Many men cheat, its bad but it doesn’t make them scary people.

      I know it might be hard to understand. Mr BB and I have some sort of connection so its really hard for me to think of him as this purely evil kind of person that people are making him out to be. In my heart, I know that deep down he is a good person who just does pretty messed up stuff. But seriously the stuff the Other Women is spinning is taking it to another level.

      As for getting him back. I am not trying to that. This blog is just about me processing whats happened/happening in my life right now. I love him but I know that getting him back is not good for me. But I need to work through things first and find out the truth for my own peace of mind before I can move forward. I guess part of it is because I don’t want to make the same mistakes again.

      Thank you for your support and commenting here. It really means a lot.

      Cinders x o x o

      Liked by 3 people

  2. You have alot going on. But one thing is clear Mr Big blue does manipulate people especially women. You put was a a say yet to much time in to digging up the dirt on this character. And while you find it hard to believe he would scheme an escape and marriage to India…he has you baby sitting his car and has other woman at his beck and call. And you can’t go by his family because he apparently leaves them in the dark about things too. Bottom line. .. you keep dating and meeting other people. Someone else will appreciate you for you and not look to use you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup. In a couple of months when he returns I’ll have to see him to give back his car and he has some of my stuff that he stored for me. But maybe after that I can truly let go.

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  3. I agree with everyone here! If the reason why he gave you the car is because he cares about you and still has feelings for you, then he wouldnt have so many ‘secrets’ or have these other women in his life.. I think he is leading you on.. And yes, he didn’t want to worry about his car.

    Whether or not these stories are true.. I don’t know but the fact that these stories exist AND the fact that you are questioning if they are true… I think it’s time to move on and stay away from him! It’s hard, I know… But sometimes the only thing to do is to let go..

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    • Hey Moondai,

      But couldn’t it be possible that the Other Women has concocted a whole new story just to prove her ‘innocence’? Women can be manipulative and maybe he made a mistake but she is doing crazy things to ruin his reputation? I am not saying I believe or don’t believe her…I am just think everyone has an agenda.

      Cinders x o x o

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      • Yeh. I know he lied. I know him well enough to know that he is guilty and thats why he is avoiding me. But its just strange that she is being so nice and telling me all kinds of things. She is also telling me to be understanding about the Divorcee. Its all a bit weird. I am sure everything will unravel as soon as MR BIG BLUE is back.

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    • Jackie 🙂 I know my stories irritate you and you must think why can’t this stupid girl just snap out of it. I know because I’ve been in a similar position with many friends in the past. Looking into their relationships and thinking why can’t they just see he is no good. But it really isn’t so easy when the shoe is on the other foot.

      Please don’t hate me. I just need to figure this whole thing out. The more answers I get the easier it will be for me to give up on him.

      Thank you for reading.

      Cinders x o x o

      Liked by 2 people

      • Silly girl…that was meant to be funny! I was just in a hurry when I was in here earlier. I understand what you are trying to do. The only thing that I see is when people are tying to tell you things, like in the comments in this post, you are always quick to defend him People are giving you advice….on things that you are telling them, Listen to it…that is what you are here for…to vent and get advice. You are not painting a very good picture at all about your Mr. Big Blue..but you are still defending him to all. Does that make sense? Anyway…you do not frustrate me at all….in fact I always look for the next days post 🙂 As always, hang in there!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Its just that I don’t tell my friends too much about the MR BIG BLUE situation because I don’t want them to dread seeing me and start thinking …here she goes again!! I don’t want to be that girl.

        Maybe I should post something to help you guys understand why I fell in love with him….hmmmm. Lets see.

        Liked by 1 person

      • That is why you are here….that is why I am here. The anonymity makes it much easier to talk to vent or whatever. It is your blog, you write what you want, and if people don’t want to read they don’t have to. Yes, maybe a post about something “good” about him may help people understand better. Look forward to it!

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  4. I totally agree with you Cinder, the vast majority of organized religions are patriarchal. Most ‘scriptures’ are written by men, with a patriarchal agenda. And most religions claim to be the one and only true path, casting damnation on all other paths.That’s why I keep away from all organized religions, but I mostly speak about the harmful teachings of Krishna Con. because that is where I donated most of my years before I woke up. Don’t expect them to do the right thing when it comes to love. They don’t believe in love. You deserve love, so don’t be discouraged if people that don’t believe in love won’t come to your rescue.

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  5. Hmmm. Your comment in interesting. What I get from KC is yes they say that there way is the best way but they also encourage people to follow their own religion. They seem to believe that any religion is better than no religion at all. At least KC is somewhat more tolerant than other faiths out there.

    But yes like every religion, it seems to be incredibly patriarchal. In my experience with MR BIG BLUE, they KC movement has done everything to believe and protect him and nothing to protect me or the Other Women. In fact, they let him totally sully her name and it doesn’t seem they questioned anything he said. I am doing more probing into this to find out the truth.

    I’d like you to have a look at this post and comment on what you think about ‘The Oracle’…a senior devotee who has promised to help me : https://hoplesslyromanticcinderella.wordpress.com/2015/01/30/counting-my-blessings-part-2-new-friendships/

    Thanks so much for your input.

    Cinders x o x o

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