Giving up on LOVE? The Life and Times of Crazy Cat Lady

Back from the weekend of drama and debauchery. Today, I’ve decided to steer the blog away from the whole MR BIG BLUE drama for a bit. Instead let’s talk about the alternative, i.e. giving up on LOVE and becoming…Crazy Cat Lady.You might think this stereotype of a lonely old spinster surrounded by cats only belongs in comic books but I am here to tell you that you are wrong. She really does exist. Crazy Cat Lady is a buddy of Cinders’ and over the past few years we’ve really gotten to know each other pretty well.

Crazy Cat Lady spent 12 years of her life dedicated to one guy. He was a scumbag who was following his dreams as an ‘entrepreneur’ while Crazy Cat Lady slogged away at the office all day to provide him with a roof over his head, food to eat, beer to drink … what a life (not to different to what my life could have been, if I hadn’t moved away from MR BIG BLUE after just 6 months of him being out of a job and not actively looking for work). When he thought Crazy Cat Lady might leave he got down on one knee (with a fake diamond ring) and proposed. Lucky for her she realised marriage wasn’t for them and got out before the wedding. She ended things just because she trusted her gut (she later found out he’d been cheating with multiple ladies and he’d even got one pregnant – crazy!!).

So after the 12 year relationship, Crazy Cat Lady had a quick 2 month thing followed by a one night stand and that’s it. She decided she was done with men. There is no such thing as LOVE anyway. You’ll always end up hurt in a relationship. No man will meet your expectations. We are all fickle beings looking for something better. She refuses to try internet dating because it’s for real losers. She has given up on LOVE and only wants to focus on her cats. Cats won’t hurt you. They give great cuddles. They are loyal and will never cheat on you. All they need a little bit of food. They really don’t ask for much. Not the way a man would.

Crazy Cat Lady
Crazy Cat Lady – Is this what happens to those who give up on LOVE?

Like you might have gathered. I am a hopeless romantic. The total opposite to the Crazy Cat Lady. Whether it’s with MR BIG BLUE or someone else. I will always believe that LOVE exists. Even if it’s not like in the fairy tales (as the whole MR BIG BLUE episode has shown me). I want to help the Crazy Cat Lady. I want her to get out there and try. I want her just to be open to the possibility of meeting someone. I don’t want her to think she is past it and on the shelf. Maybe she is a little old to have kids, but doesn’t meet she can’t find a companion. I’ve tried to reason with her and pointed out many guys that would be interested but she always finds fault – too poor, too rich, too black, too white, too clever, too stupid, likes dogs not cars – basically says she will only settle down with a  guy who is the same as her in every way. But I think it’s all an excuse. It seems she will never let herself LOVE again (accept for the cats of course).

Regardless at the end of the day at least she has her cats.  And me, the hopeless romantic – I have no one.

Ok I know it’s a bit of a random post….but give me your opinions.

Is it ever OK to give up on LOVE? Should I be a bit more life Crazy Cat Lady – i.e. realistic? Does it make you sad when you meet people that have given up on LOVE or do you think its better to be independent like her than one of those that try this whole LOVE thing and end up divorced and penniless? Or are you someone who has given up on the conventional idea or LOVE for something else maybe its the LOVE of your job, a passion for something else, or even your cats ? Please share your stories because sharing is caring after all.  

Till I am in a better state of mind (still hungover from this weekend)

Lots of LOVE (because you know I LOVE LOVE)

Cinders x o x o

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32 thoughts on “Giving up on LOVE? The Life and Times of Crazy Cat Lady

  1. You said alot but for sake of argument simply put. Don’t ever give on love. No one should. If you keep running into the wrong kind of men ask yourself what vibes are you sending out that is allowing those kind of men to you. Your friend hasn’t giving up on men she has giving up on herself to find a good men. It’s worth going through some bad ones to find the one that is just for you. Your friend has made up her mind that unless something totally runs her over she isn’t interested. That’s what she feels works for her…for now. In the future it could become a missed opportunity to find that one love. Don’t let that rub off on you where you no longer interested in men. You are hopelessly romantic for a reason. Keep looking for true love and you will find it.

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    • Yeah I agree. Even when people ask me if I regret MR BIG BLUE I’ll always say no. There were moments where it was like a fairytale, where he totally took my breath away and I am thankful for that. There are some people who will never experience those feelings like I did and I am glad I did. The highs were worth the low I am feeling now. So I will continue searching for my Prince Charming, but maybe I’ll learn from this experience and use my maturity to make better decisions. But I don’t plan on ever giving up on LOVE.

      Better to have LOVED and lost than never to have loved at all 🙂

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      • When my broke up with me I know there were some who thought I would regret it but like you …I saw it as a maturing process and I did learn a lot about my self and saw myself grow in ways I wouldn’t have if I didn’t go through the entire experience. Its only regret when we don’t learn from the past.

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      • Yep. I think I am going to be more sensible from now on. Its sad in a way but I am no longer that care-free 22 year old girl who will throw caution to the wind and move to the other side of the world for love. I will still have fun and fall in love, but I think it will also be a bit more practical. I will start evaluating whether I am really compatible with the guy…not just think that LOVE will help us overcome our differences.

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      • Smart, it is more important to find out if you and the other person have shared values or shared goals in life other wise you can leave yourself open to conflicts that maybe hard to overcome.

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      • And I think the older you get the more set in your ways you become. When I was 22 I was only starting out as an independent person. I didn’t know who I was and what were the things that made me tick. Now that I am almost 30 I kinda no that there are lots of things I can’t give up or compromise on. I will still be willing to learn about the other persons interests and passions but not give mine up in the process.

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      • I’m not sure the older you get the set in your ways you become…I think you know what your limitations are on most things but my life has always been about change and adapt to change. When I was 21 I was idealistic now many years later I am realistic. Not set just realistic.

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      • Yeh I guess when I met MR BIG BLUE I was the same. Didn’t think the religious thing would be a big deal. Thought we’d make a plan to overcome/accommodate it. People said he is the right fit for me and that he’d hold me back. But I was like what do they know…opposites attract. Those weren’t big problems for me back then.

        Now I know I need to make sure I am on the same wave length as the guy if the relationship stands a chance of working out.

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      • Trust me I ended up doing the same thing but this time around I met someone who thought like me and had the same life experiences and this time it has worked out just fine.

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  2. …tell Cat Lady that she is doing herself a great disservice. YOU DON’T THROW AWAY THE BABY WITH THE BATH WATER…the dude hurt her badly but she is still giving him the upper hand in her life. While he is out grooving, she is confined to a life with feline buddies forever…..She is afraid of being hurt again after giving someone all of her heart is what is wrong with her . She should wake up and smell the coffee….for every Catwoman there is a Batman….

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    • You put it in such a nice way. The problem is it really does effect all aspects of her life. She is very judgmental of other peoples relationship – commenting on why such and such a couple in compatible before they’ve even got their relationship off the ground. She doesn’t seem to realise that people don’t need to be 100% compatible to be in love and to make a relationship work. Its just really sad because she is really pretty and kind person but her bitterness comes through in her personality and she ends up closing so many doors for herself.

      Thanks again for reading.

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  3. Never give up on love. I was your age when I went through the horrors of a break up with a man I thought was the one. It was very difficult and I still feel the pain at times. Luckily a couple years later I met the man who made me realize that I could get past things that happened, and I could love again. You never know what will happen. Your friend sounds depressed, I mean clinically. I know you said you don’t believe in getting help…I really think she would benefit. It is very hard to move out of the mindset she has, but it can be done. She has to want to…that is the hard part. And in closing, I am not a crazy cat lady with a wonderful husband. She can have both 🙂

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    • Hey Jackie 🙂

      Yep right now I am a little bit bleak about love, but deep down my heart won’t let me give up on the whole concept. Maybe eventually I will end up giving up on Mr Big Blue but never on LOVE. Hopefully the feelings I experienced with him during the good times and just a glimpse of what real love can feel like. Stories like yours do give me hope.

      Cat lady is definatley depressed. Her attitude to her love life also effects the rest of her life. She over analyses friendships and judges other people for what they choose to do. Things like saying : ‘So and so is marrying down’, ‘This person is so sad they have to resort to internet dating’, ‘Some people spend to much time focusing on finding a man’, etc, etc. It never stops and by judging people, she finds it hard to make friends or she can’t really maintain friendships either.

      As far as I know she has tried therapy. Said it helped her get over some stuff. But then she says she doesn’t need it for the love life thing anyway.

      xxx

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    • Hey Jackie…

      Crazy Cat Lady is going to a homepath to get some therapy and maybe a solution to her dating/friendship issues.

      Hopefully we’ll see some progress soon 🙂

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  4. I did give up on finding the one.. I mean, is there a soulmate out there for everyone? I have so many tales to tell on love.. My heart got broken a few too many times.. Having said this, I still believe in love! I love being in love!
    I think that cat lady needs to get out there again! Go have some fun!

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    • Hey Moondai.

      I don’t think anyone should be obsessed with finding ‘the one’. It shouldn’t be some kind of mission. I just believe people should be open to love. If someone asks you out give it a try, you never know you might have a good time, you might make a good friend or you might find LOVE.

      If someone told me I were to never find love again then I’d be sad, but I am glad that I already experienced those feelings. And so I would give it another chance in a heart beat.

      Please feel free to share your stories here. Or maybe we could chat about you writing a guest post?

      Cinders x o x o

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  5. […] Crazy Cat Lady’s take on it was that we both liked each other (but I think she could have been being sarcastic because she actually liked him herself). She said I needed to act fast because it was impossible for a guy and girl to be just friends and if I left it too long I would end up getting hurt. I don’t know how much I believe her though. Part of me is too scared to act on my feelings for Dr Sparkle because I feel that it could potentially ruin our friendship which is something I really value. […]

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