Surviving Valentine’s Weekend

Hey strangers 🙂 I hope you haven’t missed me too much over the last few days. I am glad to tell you that I didn’t top myself and I am still alive having survived Valentine’s weekend. I did promise you all that I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep thinking about MR BIG BLUE and I’d find some productive things to do in order to make the weekend of hearts, flowers and all things sickeningly romantic bearable and I am pleased to report I succeeded.

So let’s rewind back to Friday, or Valentine’s Eve, for the more romantically incline among us. Friday involved some after work drinks with Tatyana and Dr.Sparkle (minus CCL who was out at psychiatrist following the previous week’s drama). Drinks were followed by a bit of a comedy show (which we had previously booked) which at least gave us a few laughs and meant than none of the singletons had to be a lone. The night ended with a little bit of drama (well, we wouldn’t have it any other way it seems) as Dr.Sparkle gets ‘lured’ into CCLs car and ends up ditching Tatyana and I (more about the Dr in a future post…I think).

I woke up on Saturday, V-DAY, ready to shoot myself in the head. No MR BIG BLUE. No messages from MR BIG BLUE. No flowers. No cards. No wild declarations of love. Nothing but a 90 minute hot yoga class to start the day off. The majority of the afternoon was spent visiting a underprivileged community with the Hare Krishnas and feeding the little kiddies. I wasn’t in the best of moods when I arrived but being around little kiddies who are too young to even understand that its V-DAY was wonderful. It also served to remind me that my life isn’t all that bad. I might not have MR BIG BLUE, but I do have a roof over my head (in fact, I am lucky enough to be getting my dream princess castle very soon), food (and champagne) in my stomach, friends who might cause drama but also lift my spirit when they need too and the most awesome family in the world, so I really shouldn’t be complaining.

boring date
Using the Yogic Banker as My Valentines Therapist …Eeek !

I refused to spend V-DAY evening alone at home with CCL and the kitties so I arranged a date with the Yogic Banker. Let me stress here, that I do not find him attractive in any way, shape or form…but we both agreed it would be good to have company. We went out for dinner and few drinks. I decided not to allow myself to get bored with his conversation and instead use him as my therapist (I am terrible, I know). I literally told him EVERYTHING about the past weeks friendship drama as well as EVERYTHING about MR BIG BLUE. It wasn’t probably the wisest thing to spend V-DAY evening talking about MR BIG BLUE but it felt good and it allowed me to get a lot of my chest…talking to someone random who didn’t have any pre-conceived ideas. All in all it was a good day…I won’t lie. There were some tears at the end of the night. I still miss MR BIG BLUE… but I survived the day in the best way I possibly could. I tried my best. Most of the day I kept him out of my mind and that was an achievement in itself.

Sunday, I got invited out for a picnic and concert with Dr Sparkle (told you I need another post about him didn’t and I) and I decided to drag Valentine’s Weekend on for an extra day and went to catch the 50 Shades of Grey movie (read PERVE FEST) with Tatyana last night (but again I will write a whole post on that at some point soon).

picnic
A Sunset Picnic with Dr Sparkle – Who is curious to know more?

Now over to y’all my fluffy bunnies. Tell me all about how you survived Valentines Weekend? Do you think I did well getting through the weekend of commercialized LOVE? Was it wrong that I used the Yogic Banker as a therapist on Valentine’s Day? Is it wrong that I still miss MR BIG BLUE? And are you curious to find out more about Dr.Sparkle?

Please please comment and ask questions. It really would mean the world to me.

Till the next episode of life without MR BIG BLUE,

Love you guys more than cherry pie, tacky cards and giant stuffed toys

Cinders x o o

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29 thoughts on “Surviving Valentine’s Weekend

  1. Sounds like you did the right things, in trying to take your mind of MBB. Don’t know about using the Banker as a sounding board just yet, but it seemed to work out ok. These things take time to work through, and I am happy to see you trying to do so by getting yourself out there and not wallowing at home about MBB. Keep the mindset of….one day at a time. It is all you can do.

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    • Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot. I thought I’d done well getting through Saturday and then on the drive home from the date home with the Yogic Bank…the tears started. Doesn’t seem I am as sorted as the facade I put on.

      Liked by 1 person

      • No one is…we all wear a mask of sorts, for the outside world to see. Everytime you just let yourself give in the sadness when you are alone, you will find those overwhelming feelings get further and further apart. Three stages…..accept. https://widgets.wp.com/notifications/1685763736#feel and then let go. Not easy, I know the feeling very well. It sucks. But….you will never get any further if you don’t accept the situation first. Hugs

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      • I think the biggest problem for me is that I am still in touch with MBB. Its nothing too couply but he does send me pictures of cute animals (its my thing) and he knows it will pull on my heart strings. He tells me how he is doing and asks how I am all the time. And I also message him with stupid car stories. I know I need to end contact at some point but its just so hard. I love his family and when I end contact for good with him, it means saying goodbye to them as well. Just trying to explain the situation a little more, so you get where I am coming from a bit more. Maybe?

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      • Yep…that is the hardest to do…that final tie cutting. He is giving you bits and pieces to keep you around. He loves the idea that you still love him. Look up the song “Let me let go” by Faith Hill. He is not letting you “let go”

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      • Gosh Jackie !!!! You just turned me to blubbering mess in my office. I think its my fault as well…I could have turned down his offer of a car (although, I am enjoying the freedom it brings and the fact it allows me to stay from CCL), I could ignore his messages, I could stop talking to his Mum, I could just stop looking for comfort at the HK temple….so many things. But I could never stop my heart from caring and my mind from thinking about him 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know….it is a great song. I have been where you are. I had someone keep popping in and out of my life for two years after we broke up. It never let me move on. He liked having me “still there”, but on his terms. Not a good or healthy place to be. It messes with your head way too much. A clean break is the only way to stop that. You are not there yet, but eventually you will latch on to some self respect for yourself, and will decide enough is enough….that is the accepting part. Only then will you be able to start healing.

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      • Thanks for being there and sharing your experiences. The logical side of me tells me to get away as soon as I can and as fast as I can, but the sentimental still loves this idiot. I am doing what I can to surround myself with positive people who will help improve my self-confidence, which will eventually stop me from caring what he things. 🙂

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  2. Good for you for going out with friends and on V day with another friend. Just getting out is good for the soul. I spent V evening at a café and wrote a few posts…then froze for an hour waiting for a bus to get home at minus 25 felt like minus 40. But I still am pleased I got out:)

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    • Hey Cheryl-Lynn

      Thanks for commenting. I do hope you’ll follow my blog.

      Yep, I agree that the most important thing is to get out. I am a bit disappointed that there were tears and thoughts about MR BIG BLUE. But if I hadn’t kept myself busy…there would have been way more tears. So its all about the baby steps for now.

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  3. It’s okay to go out and be with people 🙂 I have some men drama myself last weekend.. Perhaps i’m asking for it, maybe I’m desperate for love too, i dunno

    It can be difficult To get over someone and might take some time. I was depressed (not officially diagnosed or anything, perhaps i’m being dramatic) about my ex, who somehow wasn’t ‘ready’ for a relationship even after I opened up to him.. Then we would just hook up on and off because I couldn’t let go.. Yes he took advantage of me but I let him.. Then we stopped all contact and I fell into a depression (sort of) but after a while I realized, hey his loss! There are so many beautiful men out there 100000 times better than him! Sounds like a cliché but there is more fish in the sea!

    It takes time.. But time heals all wounds, might leave you with a scar, but eventually you might not even notice it anymore 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup…Its always good to be out and about, keeping busy.

      I’m sorry you got used by your ex. I guess its stimilar to my position too. I know full well what he is doing and I am letting it happen I guess. I think I am not ready to let go just yet, but as you say time heals all wounds, and maybe in time I will be strong enough to let go. Lets keep watching and see.

      So tell me what was you man drama ? ex stuff?

      Liked by 1 person

  4. …yeah..I think you should fin some worthwhile engagement to keep you occupied…If you keep thinking about Mr. Blue…you will keep getting blue….The moniker you gave him is enough red flag to show he is not worth the heartache…

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  5. It’s great that you got out throughout the weekend and stayed occupied.

    I’m the wrong one to ask about the Yogic Banker. I’m a catch and release dater. If there’s no spark, I immediately release them back into the pond. Be honest with yourself and the people in your sphere of influence and you’ll have less drama and more happiness.

    I’m not sure I’m ready to hear about Mr. Sparkle. I’m afraid you haven’t dealt with your feelings for MBB and that will effect your next relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    • OK…So maybe I am a bit mean to the Yogic Banker, using him as sounding board BUT we both agreed that we were meeting on Valentine’s Day to have some company… there was really nothing romantic on the cards. I didn’t want to stay home with CCL (seriously I would have rather gone to the movies alone) and he also wanted to go out…it was clearly to short notice for us to find a better option.

      Dr. Sparkle is just a bit of light entertainment at the moment. He also went through a pretty epic break-up recently so neither of us are ready for anything new regardless – I think for now we’ll just work on having a really really cool friendship 🙂

      Thanks for reading Wilma.

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