Just wanted to post quickly to let you all know why I’ve been a bit AWOL for the past week. Life took a turn from messed up to beyond STRESSFUL on so so many levels.


I won’t go into too much detail but here are the main reasons.

1. Crazy Cat Lady went mental and kicked me out because I wouldn’t choose her over all of my other friends. My Castle’s transfer got delayed which pretty much makes me homeless. So this weekend I will be putting all my stuff into storage and becoming a nomad. Thankfully I have awesome friends who have stepped up and offered me their beds, couches, hammocks and floors to sleep on :).

2. Even though shes been uber mean to me I am actually seriously worried about CCL. I was her last friend standing and now she has kicked me to curb as well. I don’t know what she will do without ANY human contact whatsoever. I think she needs professional help but I am not in a position to help her. I hope that once I can get out of her place…maybe it will be easier for me to approach her.

3. MR BIG BLUE might be coming home early. I was just getting used to having this space and I thought I was using this time to become more independent but the thought of him potentially being back in less than a week truly messes things up in a huge way. He hasn’t confirmed anything yet. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

4. This shouldn’t be something stressful but its also messing with my head a little. I think I have a bit of a crush on someone. Its still to early to say if the feelings are real or I am just tricking myself into believing this is something more than it actually is. But I can say one thing…he has made me smile through all this stress and been a supportive friend (although I think he is too oblivious to know). When I am around him, I feel like I am on the top of the world. I can totally be my crazy self around him and he makes me SMILE a lot. Nothing romantic has happened and everything is in my head at the moment. But I am determined not to mess things up with him. Right now, the friendship means too much for me to throw it away. I want to make sure all my feelings for MR BIG BLUE are gone before I move on to anything else and I need to make sure its worth risking our friendship for. I don’t know if he like likes me the same way, but he knows a bit about the MR BIG BLUE situation and I know he is to decent to make a move until he knows it totally over. He is the opposite of MR BIG BLUE in every single way. I am just a little bit smitten. Gosh.

5. Oh and by the way… I lost my appetite. I don’t know whether its all the stress from CRAZY CAT LADY or whether its love sickness or pure craziness? YOU. TELL. ME.

Am I reading to much into a little bit of smiling ?

OK guys, there is my uber quick update so now over to you … give me your thoughts.

How should I handle the Crazy Cat Lady situation? How do I deal with seeing MR BIG BLUE again so much sooner than I was prepared for? Do you think I am crushing on this new guy as a rebound thing? Am I crazy to go from crying our MR BIG BLUE to being smitten over someone new so soon? Do you think I am misreading signals from someone who is a good friend as something more when its not? Have you ever lost your appetite over stress or over a potential love interest? Share your experiences and distract me from my stress.

Till I return from my weekend of STRESS.

Lots of love my sweeties,

Cinders x o x o


12 thoughts on “STRESS, STRESS and MORE STRESS

  1. Leave CCL alone there isn’t much you can do about her other than continue to be nice toward her. As for MBB…what is his goal on coming back> Is it to resume a relationship? Get back his car? or what? Your gut will tell you how to deal with him when the time comes, alot will depend on him. Crushing on new guy is a sign that you are not totally jaded and still feel something for someone other than MBB. Is it too soon? Maybe not. If you are truly done with MBB then no it is not too soon. You won’t know for sure if you are misreading signals from new guy crush until you make a move and find out. Yes I have lost an appetite in stressful situations even caused me to lose weight drastically. Both at work in in my love life not at the same time but at different points in life.


    • My plan for CCL is to pack all my stuff up as peacefully as possible tonight. And leave tomorrow. I am really anxious about it all. But the new crush has told me to stay calm, buy myself a couple of beers put on some music and try to make the experience as bearable and painless as possible. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

      As for MBB. I am doubting he will come back and declare his undying love for me. He probably won’t even tell the truth, he will just continue to live the lie. I wanted to help him out but I am tired of putting myself on the line and getting hurt.

      The new crush, whether it becomes something more or not, has just made me realise I can smile and laugh again. He hasn’t made a move but he has gently encouraged me to end things properly with MBB. He is a real sweetheart. I guess I will either need to make a move or make it clear to him that MBB is out of my life so he might make his move on me. Either way, I am glad he is in my life right now because he really is a breath of fresh air 🙂

      I am happy that I am losing weight, but the I just want all the anxiety to be gone already.


      • Hmmm…a girl can dream, can’t she? Lets see what this weekend brings. Either way it will be a toughie.


      • Yeh I am surprisingly feeling much stronger than I ever expected too. I haven’t asked exactly when MBB is getting back. I don’t think I am strong enough to see him yet. But the more time I spend with NCG/Dr Sparkle…the better I feel about it all 🙂


    • I will. Its still early days. I was chatting to him yesterday and we worked out that I we’ve only known each other like 6 weeks…but its so odd…it feels like forever. I am so comfortable around him, its really odd 🙂 But we’ll take things slowly, I don’t think either of us is ready for something intense so soon. But its fun hanging out right now. 🙂


    • Right now, I am just spending more and more time with him which just feels natural. Nothing romantic has happened, and I don’t plan on doing anything from my side till I am completely over MBB. But all the smiling really does help.


  2. I am so glad to see you are actually looking at other guys. Who knows what may happen :). I am sorry about all the other things you are having to deal with. As for CCL…you can’t let her issues become your own. Probably best you will not be living with her anymore. I lose my appetite when I am stressed, as well. Hang in there….I believe it will all work out for the best. Just stay open to the possibilities and not let the fact that MBB is coming back early stop any progress you have made.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The move away from CCL was tough both mentally and physically. She really turned on me…I feel messed up looking back on the whole situation. I think she is really a good person deep down but shes did manipulate me.

      I am ONLY looking at the moment. I don’t think it would be fair to get involved with anyone right away. This new crush aka Dr Sparkle also recently came out of a pretty complicated relationship and right now its great to have someone around that makes me smile (I haven’t done much of that since MBB left) and I feel safe and comfortable with. Lets watch this space 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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