Don’t hate me for writing the post. I know it makes me sound likes the jilted ex but these thoughts keep swirling around in my mind and I want to hear your take on it. I’d love to get some conversation and debate going on here. I mentioned to some of you that I’d like to write a book based on this blog at some point, so its always worth causing a stir. Artistic licence or something like that.
Even though when I met MR BIG BLUE on Monday he wouldn’t admit to being involved with the Divorcee,my gut still tells me something is going on. The same way it did a couple of years back with the Other Women. My gut hasn’t failed me before and I doubt it will now.
I admit that part of this is based on jealousy, so please feel free to call me out as I know some of you will. When I think about the ‘relationship’ between MR BIG BLUE and the Divorcee, i just want to shake him and scream : ‘What the hell are you thinking, dude?’. To me it seems that maybe she is ideal for him in his eyes but all the sneaking around, hiding and not being able to be open about being in a relationship with someone you supposedly love – isn’t this is all a basis for failure?
Before I met MR BIG BLUE I’d never been truly open about a relationship before. When I look back now, I think subconsciously I knew that those guys that I was ‘dating’ previously weren’t anything to be proud of and clearly not people I thought were worth introducing to my family or friends (although, at the time I would never have admitted it). But even those relationships weren’t in the same league of what MR BIG BLUE and the Divorcee are doing.
I understand there are many potential reasons for sneaking around. She wants to keep it hidden because the divorce isn’t even finalized and the Hare Krishna community will definitely judge her from jumping into something new so soon. He wouldn’t want it to come out because it will simply serve to reinforce this image of him as a ladies man…after all it seems that many people had some knowledge about his affairs with the Other Women.You must understand that the Hare Krishnas are incredibly religious and wouldn’t really approve of such sordid behaviour so I figure to some extent they are trying to save themselves from being ostracized.
OK, but beyond the Hare Krishna community, what reasons do they have from hiding in the real world. MR BIG BLUE introduced me to his family within one month of knowing me (even though at the time, I could have been just a mere holiday romance). He took me to their beautiful estate and showed me where he grew up. I remember clearly the night before we went on that trip, I complained that he never wanted to take me out and show me off. He replied by saying he is showing me off to the only people that matter…i.e his family. They’d also met the girlfriend before me. But not the Other Women and the Divorcee…I wonder why?! In my mind, if you truly love someone especially in the early honeymoon stage, you should be desperate to show them off proudly.
In one of my conversations with the Oracle, he said one thing that sticks with me. He basically said he’d always thought our relationship had been good for MR BIG BLUE and that I really was the right girl for him and with regards to the Divorcee situation he said she must remember that ‘if he did it with you, he’d eventually do it to you’. Meaning that he cheated on me with her, and eventually he’d get bored of her as well and find another chick to cheat on her with. I wonder.
The thing is with myself and MR BIG BLUE there was no cheating. I was never an ‘other’ women to him. When we met we were young and things were really clear cut. It was just the two of us against the world. Making the most of every moment and having amazing adventures. Whatever messes we created along the way, I know that our relationship started of beautifully and noone can take that away from me. That is why I will never hate him. I will love him for those memories. It doesn’t mean I won’t be able to create new memories with someone else but all I am saying is that our relationship worked for as long as it did because the basic foundation was based on a truth.
So what I am asking all of you is that can a relationship ever survive if its built on a foundation of lies? Can an affair really blossom into something decent a real? Were any of you once the other women/man in an affair? How did things turn out?
I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for listening.
Lots of Love Cinders x o x o