Acceptance – The FINAL Revelation

I have finally accepted it is over with MR BIG BLUE and there is no chance we will ever get back together EVER.

After speaking to his mum last week things were a lot clearer. Even the people that were supposed to be on his side were telling me to walk away.

Following my reunion with MR BIG BLUE last week when I told him about the rumours that were going around and encouraged to fight them, the Oracle phoned me and said that they wanted to hold a meeting at the Hare Krishna temple and they wanted to confront the situation to see if MR BIG BLUE had lied on the Bhagavad-Gita to get his initiation.  As it was accusations from the Other Women had got this thing started in the first place they want the meeting to be between MR BIG BLUE, the Other Women, the Oracle, the head of the temple and me.

I told MR BIG BLUE that I had been asked to attend the meeting. At first he seemed quite shocked and said he didn’t want me to be there because he was afraid the other parties would want to hurt me. I told him I was already hurt by what had been said so far and I would just rather have the truth. There was a long silence then. He then contacted me saying he thinks I should attend the meeting and we could fight together as I team and I would just need to back him up and say we had only been friends for the past two years (yeah right – I think by this stage even this idiot had begun to believe his own lies). He told me I would do it if I was his real friend (blackmail?!). I played along.

Then I emailed the Marigold – a very senior figure that MR BIG BLUE looks up to. I told him about the rumours, the meeting and the awkward position I was put being. He responded to my very detailed email with this short message:

Thank you for the message.

MR BIG BLUE has told me that he and the Divorcee are serious about their relationship, and want to go ahead together.

Certainly you should just be open and straightforward when the meeting happens. You have nothing to lose by being honest.

So there it was in black and white. It was no longer just a rumour. MR BIG BLUE had gone and confided in a person who he values over anyone in his family. It was true.

Despite all MR BIG BLUE’S statements, the Marigold knew the truth. Only a few months he had spoken to me about getting married to MR BIG BLUE. So he knew we weren’t just friends. All these lies. What a messed up situation. It took a while to settle in. I slept on it. But it was now there, out in the open.

acceptance
Acceptance – Finally !

The next day I visited the Hare Krishna temple to speak with the Oracle. I had already arranged to meet him to discuss what would and wouldn’t be said in the meeting. As soon as I met him I told him that it was over between MR BIG BLUE and I. There you go. I said it, old loud, for the first. It was OVER. We were no longer on a break. We were no longer a grey area. There was not a chance in hell we would be getting back together. It was well and truly OVER. I had accepted it. Totally 100%.

Talking to the Oracle always makes things seem better. At first he seemed disappointed that things had finished as he had always been a supporter of our relationship. I explained the position I was in. He suggested maybe I didn’t come to the meeting. That way I wouldn’t be forced to lie. This seemed like a pretty good idea. I just needed to consider how MR BIG BLUE would take it (not that it should really matter after everything he had put me through). The Oracle also said that there had been a purpose for me in all this drama. He said that MR BIG BLUE had brought me to Krishna and there was something good in that. The Oracle also took my hand and looked at the lines. He said there was another relationship on the horizon (well in about 4 years) and he said that would be the man I’d marry. I don’t know how much I believe him but it was nice to be given some hope. He also said that there was a lesson here and I needed to make better choices…with my head, rather than my heart. He said that he could tell I was a person of high-moral character and I should look for someone I could respect rather than someone I needed to fix.

hope
HOPE – Thanks to the Oracle for giving me a little bit of HOPE for the future. Just need the pain to end now.

So there you have it. Acceptance.

So do you think this is a turning point for me? Do you think I’ve finally accepted things are over with MR BIG BLUE? Do you think I am being a coward by not going to a meeting where I could completely destroy MR BIG BLUE and bring down all his lies? Or do you think I am right to walk away from this now and let MR BIG BLUE get on with his own sordid little life with the Divorcee? What do you think about the hope given to me by the Oracle? Is it worth believing that there is still somewhere waiting for me to come along?

Look forward to hearing what y’all have to say.

LOVE Cinders x o x o

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17 thoughts on “Acceptance – The FINAL Revelation

  1. Finally!!!!Answers you can’t have any more clearer are right there in front of you. This is a turning point only if you have truly accepted that it is over and you don’t start fighting to get back what you lost. (Which is nothing). Well it will be interesting to see who enters your life in the next 4 years and make sure you keep blogging with us so we know how that turns out (after all you put your readers through LOL) I would if I were you go to the meeting and expose him for what he is. He doesn’t think you will show and is afraid for you to show and we all know why. Yes I am speaking from personal experience it is worth waiting for the special someone that will not put you through this drama. As for the other matter , you are not off the hook…talking to your family about everything that has transpired. You own that to them. If the situation was the reverse you would expect the same.

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    • Hey there. Yup I think there is no going back. I don’t really care to go to this meeting and expose MBB. The Other Women has enough evidence to do that without me. I also don’t want to be the scorned ex girlfriend. If he chooses to be with the Divorcee (a women who has ruined the life on one other man) I wish him well and he will need all the luck in the world. I think he has met him match. I will let them bring themselves down. I will just sit back and watch it now.

      Let all this sink in for a bit and then I will tackle my family.

      – BTW i have a date tomorrow night. Its not with Dr Sparkle, sadly but maybe it will be fun.

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      • Thanks…He sounds vaguely promising. But after MBB, that wouldn’t be hard – right ?

        You know I went on dates before…like with the Yogic Banker (remember him?) but MBB was always in the back of my mind. Tomorrow, I am going to give the date my all and not think about MBB in the slightest. Fingers crossed for me…that it can at least be fun.

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      • wow sounds like my firt date after my ex… I had to put her out of my head … I date a few women before I met my finance. The date were mostly one date deals …so I know what you are going through. It’s why I give you the advice that I do.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oiiii ! I haven’t even been on that date yet. My friends are teasing me…saying the guy is going to be a midget 🙂 I hope not. Either way I am pretty excited for it 🙂 Will update when I get back.

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      • Yay a date! That’s fun isn’t it! Enjoy yourself, you deserved it!

        Sometimes you take Certain moments in life As a sign.. Like now. It’s a sign UPI should let go and move on!

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      • Well…I hope its fun 🙂 Wish me luck. He seems like an intelligent and interesting guy, so at least the conversation should be good.

        I’m definitely ready to let go now. 🙂

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  2. I agree with your decision not to go to this meeting. It is just going to put you back in a place you are trying to get away from. Leave his issues for his new “girlfriend” to deal with. No good will come of this meeting. No matter what position you would choose to make you would feel awful. Lying for him, or feeling you betrayed him….both would cause you pain. Stay away from the drama that surrounds him and walk away. I am glad you have accepted it is over. I know it must have been hard to hear he has chose the divorcee, but now you know. No more guessing. In a way it is freedom. Try to embrace that. Yay on the date 🙂 Have a good time and just go with it. It is your time to have some fun. Keep us posted. Hugs

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    • Thanks for the support. I don’t really have any desire to destroy him…he is doing a pretty good job of that himself. I know people will think I am cowardly for not going to the meeting but the way I think about it…the only thing I will be able to take away from this is a few good memories. I won’t pine after him but believe it or not MBB and I did have good times. I am not the prettiest or most popular girl but for a little while when I was with him I felt I was and I thank him for allowing me to believe in myself. He also taught me to throw caution to wind and follow love (or what I thought was love) and there aren’t many people who would be willing to do that…so I will be glad for the memories.

      Yup he choose the Divorcee. Everyone is frowning upon it as one would expect. But it is no longer any of my business. He is no longer my responsibility.

      The date should be fun…I am actually looking forward to it.

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  3. Every relationship will have good memories. You cannot share your life with someone for so long without creating memories. I am glad he created positive changes for you. Those are the things to take with you on down the road. Never sell yourself short. I have no idea what you look like or what you perceived yourself to be prior to this relationship, but what I have seen through your words is someone who has a lot to give. You had a bad ending to your first love. I did, as well. Most people do, because it was the first attempt at love, and it didn’t work out.
    Please don’t let anyone talk you into going to this meeting. Keep your chin up and say I am done with this nonsense 🙂 You are on the right track. Just keep moving forward. It will not be easy and you will have moments of despair, but you will get through them. Put yourself out there and let others see what you have to offer. I think you are going to be just fine. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • I pretty determined not to go to the meeting. I think it can only end badly. If MR BIG BLUE wants to talk badly of our relationship and say it never existed, that is fine but honestly I’d rather not be witness to that. I’ll take my happy memories and the good times and be OK with that. If he wants to start something new on a foundation of lies then that is also fine…its no longer my business or my problem. He’ll always have a special place in my heart…but he is no longer the man I fell in love with.

      I am moving ahead. Super excited about today’s date…writing about it now. So just watch this space 🙂 I could do with a bit of fun right now. 🙂

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    • Yup. I needed to see my answers in black and white otherwise I would have kept fighting for him. They weren’t the answers I wanted to hear but now I have them I can move forward. Things are looking up.

      I hope you get your answers soon honey 🙂

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