Just in case people hadn’t heard the news. MR BIG BLUE and I are over. I am strong right now, but I know there will be tougher days but today I am positive and that can’t be such a bad thing.
Part of the reason I am strong today is that I have a date tonight. It’s a guy I met on Tinder. Let’s call him the Poison Dwarf (don’t ask!) but that’s a name given to him by Tatyana and Dr Sparkle (yes, Dr Sparkle is fully aware I am going on a date…he is voiced a few cheeky objections, but if he won’t make a move what is stopping me, right?).
I started chatting to Poison Dwarf at the weekend. Actually, the same day I got the confirmation from the Marigold that things were most definitely over between me and MR BIG BLUE. Anyway, this one seems really cool. He is quite a bit older than me so it’s likely that he has had quite a bit more life experience than me. Good looking but in the George Clooney kind of way. He is really intelligent…well he should be as he is an academic. The banter is amazing. The first guy from internet dating/Tinder that I’ve actually clicked with. He is really intelligent and witty. I like the conversation – its fun.
Only thing is I’m really brave when I am sitting a home on the sofa typing away on my phone. But I don’t think I’ll be the same when I meet him in person. I think I will be super shy and a bit of a bumbling idiot. I mean flirted quite a bit over the phone (we’ve even discussed 50 Shades of Grey – yup, I know!) but I don’t know if it’ll be the same tonight. I can talk the talk but deep down I’m just a good girl…so I really hope he doesn’t think otherwise because of all my smack talk.
Its not like I haven’t been out on any other dates during the ‘grey area’ period with MR BIG BLUE. Remember the Yogic Banker? But this is the first time, I actually feel free to be myself and let go and if something happens, it happens. In all the other cases, I think even if I had felt attracted to the guys there is no way I would have let anything happened while I thought there was even the slightest chance that I could have a future with MR BIG BLUE. But I think this time its different. If something is going to happen I can well and truly be open to it.
So here I am sitting at my desk totally full of nerves about tonight. But that’s a good thing, right? There is part of me expecting him to message and cancel or not pitch at all. Oh and what if he really is a dwarf, like Tatyana and Dr Sparkle decided last night. Eeek !!
So what do you think about me dating so soon after MR BIG BLUE? Is it OK or do you think it’s a recipe for disaster? Are first date nerves normal?
Send me lots of good vibes please. I need a bit of happiness in my life right now.
Lots of love
Cinders x o x o